A story of horror

A Certain Expectation

“A butterfly, Papa!” Ben thrusts, hand presenting wings lovely but still

His face grows wide in the rear view mirror, though I am not sure why

He walks in like a praying friar. We find a sponge, sugar water, slivers of mango

“It’s moving!” he shrieks, as it unfurls and stretches back to center

He possesses it--the allure, this thing--his gaze afire at the side show unfolding

Lost in its shamanic hold, whispering incantations about color about why’s

Lepidoptera Nymphalidae Papilionoidea Danaini Danaus plexippus

Big brother entomologist immediately notices and recoils:  It has no head

Having been born beautiful, if fragile, we also quiver headless, damaged

Our wings feint, then rising with any hope when blood warms from touch

In the end, susceptible to birds, headless and palpitating, carried about

With a certain expectation, in our own hand

Death I can deal with. But what with the wings, dancing

Brightly amongst the mango in the face of glee?

Everything you wanted to know about the Zika virus

Zika

We are floating in constellations

Of disease:  H1N1, West Nile, Avian, SARS

In the feces, the mucus, the water

Swirling. Transubstantiating

On the tip of your tongue

Zika Virum volatus.

On the desk of the schoolhouse

Shopping on the handles of carts

Blowing in the highwinds

In the cabins of jets

From Greece to Rio to Port au Prince

Zika Morbus morbi

Foremost it is distraction, blurring focus

Cramps and vomiting

The birth of infants with shrunken heads

Biting in the tropics, clinging to window screens of heat

Unscented and bathed in resolve, the virus Zika,

Zika, Vitae bonafidae ponderosa

Whispering buzzes in the night

Whisked from Olympic matches in veins of athletes

Semper liberi Zika

Zika Captus unificare di humanus

Goddess Zika, culpa mosquito, buzzing

Zzzzika of crania, seeker of flesh

Pursuer of wombs, the birth canal, culvert of tears

Zika, Zika, Flaviviridae flavivirus

Goddess of little skulls

Awash in amniotic fluid, swimming in semen

Multiplying on the puddles. Evolving on the proboscis

Zika Satana aliosque spiritu maligno

Zika Sri Lanka, Zika Mayanmar, Zika Florida

Zika Africa, Polynesia, America Latina

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus, Zika, in hora mortis nostrae

Neighborhood awhirr when ambulance visits

Dick and Marg

Do not cry.  It was five years ago

We didn’t think he’d last this long

Dick, the neighbor. The white, fifties house with an eagle above the door

The unmowed grass

Kids want to go look

I tell them thirty seconds. I repeat

Sit at the window, peering, at an extreme angle

Through a foot of warbled glass

They want more, ask to go up to the porch roof

Hidden by a pine, the porch roof

On a soundless evening when the birds are down

I am tempted myself

A long while passes. I wonder

What will they see of him?

Does one keep them in? Will they dream

Of lights flashing red?

Too late to bring a plate of cookies

What will become of the landscaping

The paint job, the eagle? Does he conjure Marg

Carrying her through the door, or when she was wheeled out?

Then stomping, scurrying down with news

Of seeing his foot move. His foot

I ask if they saw his face

They saw Dick’s face!

They saw Dick’s face

Ben says his heart is beating super fast

I stroke his neck, remember his birth, smelling him for the first time

Beating super fast

How to paint a house

How To Paint A House

I.

First, prepare yourself to choose the color

Don’t be fooled. Operate from a place of authenticity

Only there can truth bear witness

Truth and beauty: Honor both

II.

Ask yourself these questions…

Is it the color of trust?

Are you alive in its gaze?

Can you swim in it? How deep?

Will the color eye you like a lover?

Does it compliment unresolved canvasses of night?

When you stir it, what energies let loose?

What kinetic jewels dance in the eyes?

How do the trees and sky play along?

What possesses you of the shade?

III.

Then, take a step back

Grind corn in a metate, back and forth, filling the lungs

With cinnamon, chocolate, chilies and garlic

Keep a journal on pigments

Wonder: How to wrap my home in abundance?

Research what birds are attracted. Consider climate change

Nap as the sun glows pink and far

IV.

Next, discard the notions associated with your choice

Think of the neighbors. Do what they do

Rub out the bastard hue with vengeance and repression

V.

Finally, decide the color

Consider painting naked, then rethink that too

Go in rags. Clothe your beautiful torso in rags to paint

The godawful color you have chosen

(Paint the house)

VI.

Wash the brushes in the sink

Singing to the milky streams of what could have been