Terrified by the sight of my own blood

First Visit To My Grandparents


I walk the graves to find my own
Dripping genetic sweat on clippings of grass
Searching for their names, my name
In Pennsylvania. From Austria-Hungary

Past suicide row, the lawn mower calls it, by the scrappy trees
Where he doesn’t go. Finally, I kneel under the pines
Kissing tribute to their granite lives, smooth and burning
In the Slovak town by Hermitage, in Sharon

Where pig blood drained to the Shenango River
Where Dad’s pitch-forked fish bled in the Shenango
Deer grazing under the spent orchard above the Shenango
Cicadas screaming as the highway spoons the Shenango                                    

Numb stone walls, Sharpsville Steel, bricks
Muscarella’s Restaurant, beer and tattooed boys
Lawns of used furniture and tackle shop under the flag
Everyone grown old on the slag heaps by the Shenango

Patagonia, where the Slovaks arrived to steel mills and railroad Co.s
Patagonia, where warped boards are scraped of paint by years  
Patagonia, where unemployed weeds dawdle on the baseball field
Patagonia, where possessions of paycheck days are sold on lawns

With tongues of moss spewing fuck the future
Channeling fathers’ chapped knuckles across lips
Where slate turns to cardboard on sodden sheds
Walking the asphalt with get-by thoughts

I have come as an explorer
But leave having been ripped
From the old world, terrified
By the sight of my own blood

Fuck rummaging, I am everything!

Just About Everything


Fuck poetry’s inane means of shedding sorrow!
Rummage to the bottom for a source of new
I am not the Phoenix/the lotus/there is no sunrise at hand
Everything for which I’ve cared for is cast in sand

Fuck the Phoenix and the lotus and a new dawn
Rummage by the waterside for signs of birth
I am blanketed down for a winter of divorce
Everything I am is drown in ripples of remorse

Fuck the dying flowers in the vase of putrid water
Rummaged by a partner who tipped it over
I am trying to fill this page with honor, but shame
Everything since July has changed but my name

Fuck the dumb-ass stunt and blunt force of the F word!
Rummage my possessions for a key that unlocks
I am a diagnosis of cancer/lewd dancer/a weed
Everything that love has brought me just bleeds

We're told we should endure for this or that

Post Apocalyptic Scene Development | Advanced Animation ...
Ring


You’re told a new beginning is ahead
So noose a hundred camels while you’re on
It’s all post-apocalyptic now
Nose dripping freely in the lawn

The records spin on gasps of air in troughs
Which children drink from knowing they will die
The horns of Moses tangle in a knot
As fashioned for the canvass in a lie

Butter hails in the boulevard of splits
You ruminate or masturbate in shifts
Should poison think to pour itself a glass
You’re busy cherry picking from the if’s

We’re told we should endure for this or that
Eyes shut in tight cacophony
Authors lay out stones for walking on
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani

Divorce, a word for cowering at the hip
Insane asylums built for such a thing
I have a ticket for that very trip
And slip the skinny finger from the ring

This historical moment requires all men and boys to know these 18 things about rape

Sad and worried old woman | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Eighteen Formulae for Rape

     “There is no folly of the beasts of the earth which
       is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men.”
                                    -Herman Melville, Moby Dick

1.
A bench. A breakroom. A parking lot
This form of rape is where it’s been
On the couch, a canyon, a moaning wide backseat

2.
Then the fear, a dedicated space
A new rule network of the brain

3.
Rape has evolved
It comes from the bone
Taught in the sinews
How the blood flows
As action potential
From our forefathers

4.
On the stand
In the courtroom
In depositions with ash trays

5.
Rape is onlookers circled, thrusting
Cell phones, uploading
Rape is in a chant

6.
Rape is a sexual position
One’s inability to enjoy again

7.
Rape is everywhere on the minds of men

8.
Rapists and War
Rape is in war

9.
The act finds solace in muscle
Inequity, in power

10.
It is in the call to police
In the come-down-to-the-station
In questions and badges
In the kit

11.
Rape is a memory
Positive feedback cycles
Groups, books, therapy

12.
Rape is in the animal world
And is not called rape

13.
Rape is teaching your little girl stranger danger at age 4

14.
Rape is a crying shame

15.
It’s on the mind on a lovely walk
In the woods/along the shoreline
An ocean liner after ten, vibrating engines at the prow

16.
The expected jail cell
An unexpected monastery
A marriage bed
After a nursery rhyme

17.
It’s the number of times stored in his head

18.
Rape is carved into Grandma’s face
But not on her gravestone
In the long grasses of memory

NYC poem for NYC and those who roam NYC

NYC: A Tale of Two Cities - The Travel Bug Digest
NYC


NYC 24 linear miles skull brandishing Scandinavia
On the sidewalk, watch yourself on the sidewalk
Food gum blood spit et cetera on the sidewalk
Human excrement just when the mind rests on the sidewalk

NYC the bakery, Amy’s, armed robberies, peace talks
Yarmulkes, recycled handbags for a hundred, hijabs
Karma bouquets, cocktail dresses cocktail dresses
Cocktail dresses jaywalking legs to the heavens

NYC concrete colliding metal sculptures of stone
Bronze sculpture melting to human sculpture
Washing up in Starbucks bathrooms
Lurching pregnant and homeless, Please help

NYC stands, stands of donut trinket mango nudes, stands of paletas
Walking while African, gay, tourist, unemployed, walking while employed
In that park, through that window, down that pit
NYC is hardly working

NYC is earning 40 times your monthly rent
Meditating monks with guide books in Brooks Brothers
Pile driving distraction, evading divorce
Vomiting into drains, eyeballs filled with sand

NYC bending into ghosts laundering time in the winds
Endowing, declaring, evoking Godzilla thrill shams
Scaffolding badges and menus and case numbers
In pot fumes zig zagging in puzzles of bones

Ye tang che in the waiting room

Ceiling Supply - Commonwealth Building Materials
Waiting Room


In Tibetan, ye tang che
To be totally tired
Hopeless
To renunciate the ground
On which you’ve struggled
An abdication
Of our little lives
Ye tang che

Here in the waiting room
We are there
Ye tang che

The arms of a felon
Tan bruised fat slick
Decorated with years
Drooping, abdicating

Do not stare
Gaze to the ceiling
To acoustical panels
Chins jutting up
Only the carpet speaks     
Of incidents
And illnesses

So, let’s get this straight
Ye means completely
Tang che is exhausted
For now, wondering how
I knocked on the elevator doors
To confirm if they were brass

They were silent
Your ring is gone
It’s over, she says      

And you wait

Sorry to remind you...

Image result for water
Body of Truth


Mist casts from the fountain
with dogs under maples
as kids run in arcs, hands
stretched out in a lesser city
by an outsized body of water

A great lake of gulled masts
listening to guitar, bathed          
naked by her voice       
with nothing to worry about
I reassure myself

Something like a storm approaching
how music pours—no, floods
in swirls of power the color of bruises
from branches, to the stoned shore
go music and children

Deep-breath and calm
some quality of mind
needed, wide-eyes
or else we fail to imagine
at the edge of water

Her lyrics are dishonest
what Romans breathed
in their last plucked strings
in fact, decay
she asks, do you believe? 

You can be sure
faith strands in sickponds
when you are gone
under layers of myth
between death and crap

Myth, a holy salve
smoothing down doom
with hallelujahs, he is risens
he is risen indeed
like methane fumes

Your blood will first be pumped
maybe some formaldehyde
or incinerator and boneyard
cherry with varnish, or cardboard
jewelry boxes for our detritus

Her voice wafting
heavy as a headstone
straight and polished
eulogizing grass and giggles
and yes, the water

Give me that source of myth
water, the familiar element
always afloat in itself
but sprinkle it over
the body of truth

D.I.Y. Guide for Young Men Contemplating Marriage or Fatherhood

Related image
How To Be An Angry Man
D.I.Y. Guide for Young Men Contemplating Marriage or Fatherhood


Learning to be an angry man is easy as one-to-three
First, listen intently to sadness perching on the eyelids
Don’t name it as such. Say you’re calling a spade a spade

Be with your hurt reflexively to avoid those taxing feelings
You would otherwise have to figure out. Be astute in speed
Muscle twitch no hesitation--just act--like a cocked gun

Next, ignore multiple public warnings--where conversation goes dead
Where children leave the table, where the wine stares back with one eye
Where you curl downstairs, hugging the remote, breath like an engine

Finally, reduce your awareness to perturbations
Where you can be critical, choose that, while narrowing the eyes
In the way that brows collide. Confirm this in too many mirrors

Cast all people and their ways into slots of good and bad
Sand and varnish those judgments into symbols
For automatic sifting. Caress them like a lover

Whatever you do with the head direct its gaze toward the truth
Truth: Your bear trap sanity from which the beast cannot bite out
In the red, sunken woods, those growling woods

Creation story of summer vacation

Image result for sun photo
Creation Story of Summer Vacation


The first week of summer
Goes mad with dissonance
As time drizzles over it

The second week of summer
Issues a uniform, the mission, a weapon
Go marching with conviction

Third and fourth weeks
Germinate. Fill the museums
With Sunyata

Sometime near the fifth week
You must acknowledge the fact
Of the fifth week

The next days of summer
Are molten glass
Stirred in the mind

There are four weeks left
Little remains above. What matters
Is in the dreams

Three weeks to go
Unleash the dogs
To run around the world

Two weeks left
Mind the rains. Mop up
Throw out the sodden

Close up the house
For the last week of summer                         
Join up with the dogs

How was your summer?
They’ll ask. Calmly, with a smile
Re-create it in seven days

Remember nothing about this

Related image
A Murder


Blanket your stupidity with leaves
Whisper, “Stay silent. Don’t move.”
Grab a shovel with all your force
And thrust it down to kill it quick.

Ignorance will moan. Maybe rise up
In reflex: Swing again. Chop through it
Murder it well, wise one, and sing
Until you sleep away its groans

Remember nothing about this
Moment. No use, recollection
Just float a lily on the water
Read another poem about water

Before it stinks, turn away
Don’t even think of the afterlife
How corpses rise boney white         
From the mulch, begging for water

For an ax, a spade or a shovel
Do not look out the window
Below the tree limb--the hole
With an impression of ignorance

Lock the door. Use the chain
Draw a bath. Close your eyes
Pull the plug. Watch the swirl-
Down of mud ooze with leaves
 
Contain your screaming. Recognize
All your options you do not have
Ruminate over it for years
Tell yourself you have risen

Risen above the matter
While lowering yourself still
Below the surface where ears
Trickle like caves with water