Acknowledgment. Coming to grips. Wondering.

I’m sure there was more.  There must have been more.


Korea was over.  The fifties ended
There was a marriage [secret/discovered after death]
He built a home in ‘60, they married. Ages 19 and 30

There was hurrying to church, Mom, lipstick, rear view mirror

Swinging for the back alley fence, Dad tossing underhand
Heckle & Jeckle, ice cream days, Berenstien Bears and Mikey

     I’m sure there was more
     There must have been more.

Saturdays, we delivered ads onto doorknobs
While twenty thousand dollars curled up in a jar of peas
In the freezer.  Stubbornness.  Abuse.  In fact, a pistol

And Mom was punished for the food
And sister for the floor.  Brother for the ferns
And I drilled holes into boards

I was seven.  Could not forgive Mom for fifteen years
‘til I learned, “Even donkeys learn from their mistakes”
Squatting in the yard, I wished I was a donkey

That day, 1975, Mom outside classroom door
Paper bag for my things.  No goodbye to Mikey
She’s all red around her eyes, explaining to me

A moving van, Grandma and Grandpa, Joni howling
Left 11162 Gilbert Street, Garden Grove that day
1975, forever.  Then Dad came home to a note

     I’m sure there was more
     There must have been more.

Like immigrants, we left for opportunity. To a new land
Called forgiveness: Camarillo--by a strawberry field
Where days were long, and barefoot, and dust covered it all